Every year I debate whether to pay the $100 renewal fee for my AAA card. I don’t know why I debate this payment in my head, but I do. I just paid the renewal fee a couple of weeks ago, and once again I’m relieved that I did.
Today my girls and I had a fun day planned. We were going to meet a friend and her kids at the pool. All the parents out there know that getting two toddlers to the swimming pool is not the easiest feat. Our morning itinerary included getting dressed, using the potty at the precise moment before we left and before swimsuits were put on, so as to not have to use the potty immediately after entering the swimming pool, which would entail getting out of our wet swimsuits in a public restroom with two wet whiney toddlers. I applied copious amounts of sunscreen. I packed swim diapers, a change of clothes, floaty devices, pool toys, coolers with lunches and cold drinks, and a stroller to lug all our equipment.
As I was preparing for the pool today, my girls were in unusual sorts. They would play well for a few minutes then I’d hear crazy screaming from my oldest, “The baby took my pots, I’m baking a cake,” she cried. “Give it back!” Her screams were earth shaking. “She stole my dinosaurs!!!!” This morning the screaming occurred at 15 minute intervals, play nicely for 15 minutes, then screaming and hitting.
“ROAR,” my littlest shouted. As I approached to take away the toys that instigated their repeated arguments. My baby has started roaring at people. She roars at me when I try to change her diaper, put her down for a nap, or brush her teeth. She roars at the dogs when they get too close to her food. She roars at bugs outside, or on the road she roars at cars driving by. My husband and I are now constantly repeating, “Please don’t roar. Roaring isn’t nice.” See this baby knows how to use her words, she just chooses to ROAR and when I say ROAR, I mean she ROARS. Her guttural roars have become pretty aggressive. The dog flees, the big girl cries, and my baby knows her ROARS are powerful.
Finally, we were ready. I got the girls outside, locked the dogs inside, and loaded the car with a profuse amount of swim equipment, sufficient for a morning at the pool. My baby screaming, “No pool. Me Wanna Play Outside. No Pool, Mama, PLAY OUTSIDE!!!” I turned the key, no sound. My battery was dead.
“Okay girls, we’re not going to the pool. The car won’t start.”
At this point the Baby started screaming, “Pool Mama, Me Wanna Go to the Pool! Mama, Me Wants to GO TO THE POOL.” Clearly, she woke up on the wrong side of the crib, an indication of how my morning had gone thus far.
A couple weeks ago, I wrote that taking my car to the carwash was a pointless venture because minutes after leaving my car is covered in snacks. (I wish I knew how to insert a permalink in this blog -“I Will Vacuum More – Or Maybe I Won’t”). The post car wash clean usually only lasts for the return drive back to my house. Well, the other reason, taking my car to the carwash never seems worthwhile is because every time I take my car to the carwash, they accidentally hit the hidden light switch above my steering wheel that ignites the hidden light that cannot be seen. I therefore leave my car in the garage over night with the hidden light on and my battery dies. Over the past several years this has happened several times. However, I do not take my car to the carwash frequently enough for this to be burned into my brain.
My solution to today’s snafu, I didn’t panic, I wasn’t too upset, I picked up the phone and dialed AAA. “Hello,” the lovely operator said, “How can I help?”
“My battery died and I need a jump start,” I respond to the kind lady.
“Are you safe?” She asked.
“Yes,” thinking as safe as one can be with a roaring and biting two year old and her big sister.
“I’m glad,” she said, “a driver will be there in less than an hour.”
“You really don’t need a boyfriend when you have AAA,” my sister, single at the time, confided in me after AAA had replaced a flat tire for her on the side of the road.
“So true,” I said. “And if you have a boyfriend he doesn’t really need to know anything about cars. AAA may even be more reliable than most boyfriends, a phone call away, to your rescue in less than an hour. Have you ever met a man that is that reliable?” We both laughed.
I love my husband, he is truly my best friend, and I know how lucky I am. I also am fully aware that it is best that we all learn to jump start our own cars and change our tires. I aim to have someone teach my daughters to do these things, but if we fail to do so, I will rest easy knowing that they will definitely be added to the AAA Family Plan.
But for all of you single women out there, I grew up with one, you really don’t need a man if you have:
(1) AAA card
(2) The number for a good handyman, and if this handyman is also a plumber, you’ve hit the jackpot
(3) A big dog
(4) Hmmm, I can’t really think what else to add to the list, cable television?
As for today, I think it may be smarter if the girls and I stick to our classy backyard inflatable pool. My handy husband filled it up.